Observation
I am a teacher. It was evident to me at the age of 18, as a youth pastor for a small United Methodist Church in Stratford, TX, in 1988, while talking to a 13 year old boy. During a visit to the boy's home he and I were talking while he played video games. While he played I noticed a Playboy magazine in his room. I said, "Why do you have this?" The boy replied, "It's cool, I like looking at the pictures." I replied, "Dude, you don't need that, it's not going to help you out in life." That was it. Three weeks later I was back to check on him and asked where his magazines were, as I didn't see them in sight. He replied, "I threw them away." I asked, "Why would you do that?" He looked me in the eye and said, "Because you told me to." It was at this point in my life that I got a little scared as I realized that what I said mattered. As a leader my words have a heaviness and weight to them. This little moment was not lost on me and I've thought of it often to remind myself of how to act with students.
I am a teacher. It was evident to me at the age of 18, as a youth pastor for a small United Methodist Church in Stratford, TX, in 1988, while talking to a 13 year old boy. During a visit to the boy's home he and I were talking while he played video games. While he played I noticed a Playboy magazine in his room. I said, "Why do you have this?" The boy replied, "It's cool, I like looking at the pictures." I replied, "Dude, you don't need that, it's not going to help you out in life." That was it. Three weeks later I was back to check on him and asked where his magazines were, as I didn't see them in sight. He replied, "I threw them away." I asked, "Why would you do that?" He looked me in the eye and said, "Because you told me to." It was at this point in my life that I got a little scared as I realized that what I said mattered. As a leader my words have a heaviness and weight to them. This little moment was not lost on me and I've thought of it often to remind myself of how to act with students.
Last
year at the Texas High
School Powerlifting Association state championships in Abilene, my
super-heavyweight class lifter, Edgar, had
broken the state record in squat by successfully lifting 805 lbs. at the state
meet. However, he didn't listen to my advice in the deadlift and attempted too
much, and subsequently missed all three attempts. In powerlifting when you miss
all three attempts of a particular discipline you "bomb out", and do
not earn a valid mark, and all records are null and void. After three
attempts to reason with him prior to his 2nd attempt, with him talking back and
feeling he knew more than me, I said, "You
know what, go ahead and do whatever you want to do." Some may have questioned my resolve,
but my one rule is "Do the Right Thing!", and I was determined to
teach this young man a life lesson. And, he was a sophomore and had more time. Edgar was in first place going into the
deadlift and ended up getting nothing, which was his choice.
Two
weeks ago we were back at the state meet, and Edgar was ranked #1 in state
coming into the competition. In the squat he completed his second lift at 740
lbs., with no problem. On his third lift he attempted 805 lbs. While coming up,
in a rapid hurry for what would have been a new state record, the bar slipped
on his shoulder and he missed the lift. During the bench press another lifter
broke the state record and lifted 525 lbs., which put him ahead of Edgar by 75
lbs., as Edgar only pressed 410 lbs.; missing 440 lbs. due to a slight pause in
the middle of his lift. In the deadlift the opponent lifted 640 lbs. To win the
state title Edgar needed to lift 715 lbs, a new state record by 15 lbs., and a
new personal record by 40 lbs. I told Edgar that he would need to
"squeeze" quickly (tighten his glute muscles to facilitate tension in
his abdominal wall and back muscles, thus helping to lift the weight faster)
and to be patient as he lifted. Edgar replied, "Why be patient, Coach?" I responded with, "This is a bunch of weight, gravity won't be
happy about what you're doing and will fight you. Just squeeze quick and be
patient as you trust your power to lift that bar. This is for a record and
title that nobody can ever take away from you. Don't be 50 years old and regret
a one bad decision." Edgar lifted the bar, was
awarded three green lights (signifying a good lift) from the judges, set the
state record, and won the state championship. When Edgar turned from the
platform to me he shouted, "I
DID IT!" I gave
him a hug and told him how proud I was of him and to be his coach. He told me that
he was glad I didn't give up on him.
Reflection
What I learned from the situation is that one should never assume that something small, (e.g.: "squeeze quick" or "be patient") could be the most important information that another person needs to hear. It would have more "cool" if I'd have given a "win one for the Gipper" speech, but I didn't. However, it wasn't about me. What was said is what was needed. Knowing your audience is important.
Translation
We work with many different children from many different places as educators. Every child has a distinct and specific history and background. The culture inside each home is different. Our job, as educators, is to know our students. While one needs an encouraging word, another needs a terse rebuke; while yet another might need a gentle touch on the shoulder. Human beings are not a one-stop-shop where an educator can memorize two or three short quips and hope to glide through life on them. Being open to change, willing to adapt, and strong enough to be silent are all powerful tools in the educator's tool belt.
Application
This moral doesn't only apply to teachers/educators. We are all humans engaged in the game of life. Every single day we will meet countless people, all with varied feelings, ideas, and needs. Seeking to find the way to encourage and uplift is a choice, not a requirement. Hopefully we all take up the mantle of peace and grace (giving people something that they did not earn) in hopes of making the world, and that person's life, just a little bit better.
This moral doesn't only apply to teachers/educators. We are all humans engaged in the game of life. Every single day we will meet countless people, all with varied feelings, ideas, and needs. Seeking to find the way to encourage and uplift is a choice, not a requirement. Hopefully we all take up the mantle of peace and grace (giving people something that they did not earn) in hopes of making the world, and that person's life, just a little bit better.
Have a great week everybody!
